I have struggled in the past and I still struggle now with this one thought that brings fear to me almost every time I think it. What if…? I’m a dweller. I dwell on the future a lot; maybe too much. What if this happens..? What if this doesn’t happen…? All the what if’s and questions weigh me down until I feel so helpless and tiny beneath them. I’ve gotten to the point, multiple times, where I’ve felt so helpless and small when considering the vast world and the odds that are against me. With the visa situation right now and not knowing if or when I’ll be able to leave I have felt so powerless.
I recently noticed that, in those moments of fear, worry, and what if’s, I’ve been looking at the odds but only seeing the side that’s against me. What if I looked at both sides? Let’s compare, shall we?
Against me: For me:
The world God
I kept trying to add to the “for me” side and then realized that though there is only one thing on that side of the list it is literally the best thing that could ever be there and that there need not be anything else. I have the God who made the sea and the ocean, the sun and the stars, the puffy clouds on a sunny day. If the God who made all that is FOR ME then the odds are already in my favor no matter what happens with my visa or the future in general. Sorry Effie Trinket, we won’t be needing your catchphrase here.
This song has been running through my head. Oh, lovely VBS memories.